There was a really gorgeous, huge crescent moon in the sky tonight as I was driving home from hanging out with some friends in Town Square. I was admiring the moon, and planning to take a few pictures of it when I got home, but as I drove west on the 215, I noticed the moon was starting to disappear, swallowed by a mountain made invisible by the night sky. Since the city is more or less surrounded by mountains, and it would be quite a hike, in the dark with minimal survival skills (though Tyler, Su Shi and I did pick up some survival skills tonight at Borders) to make it to the top of one to try and take a picture, my moment with the moon was lost, and I wasn’t able to memorialize it on my digital camera. It made me a little sad.
So many things in life are temporary. At 29 and starting a second year all of my jobs have been more or less temporary. School is temporary. Youth is temporary. Sadly, sometimes even our relationships our temporary. Many seasons of my life have slipped on by before I was ready to let them go. And sometimes before I could appreciate them for what they were.
With the loss that I’ve experienced, I have learned to cherish every moment. Even as a child, I wasn’t in a hurry to grow up. For a while I was in a hurry to get my driver’s license, but that was an entirely different note. Even then, I was somehow able to realize that childhood was something that I would miss, and I hung on to it.
Yet, I’ve also come to expect change. To know that it’s going to happen. And sometimes I can’t help but fear the worst. I worry about losing the people I love. I worry about getting too old and hating myself for not taking advantage of life when I could.
So, as I saw the moon sinking into the mountains. Disappearing prematurely into what seemed like mid-sky and I drove for a while under a moonless, desert sky, I felt a little like a metaphor had been painted for me in the sky. I’ve been fretting over how unstable my life feels right now. I’d like to say my little moment with nature made me feel better, but it actually just reminded me of all the things that have been making me feel so blue lately.
