What’s the word… Uptight?
I’ve been trying to figure something out: why are people who know me from work or school always so surprised to see me out having fun and “letting loose?” A little reserved at the get-go. Smart. Serious. A hard worker. Eh… maybe the right answer is uptight.
Whenever I feel insecure, I overcompensate. I want my teachers to like me, so I buckle down and pay attention. I want my bosses and supervisors to like me, so I am always busy, always productive. I want acquaintances to like me, so I don’t bother revealing anything that I think might turn someone off. In turn, I am hiding every weakness, trying to cover up every flaw, and refusing for one second to let myself feel vulnerable.
It’s not working for me anymore.
So, here is the plan: To have fun. Let loose. To stop being so uptight. To be a little vulnerable. To flirt a little more, laugh a little more, and stop worrying about tomorrow before it gets here. I’m not going to stop being me. I’m not shooting for a 180-degree what-happened-to-her-reaction. I just want to…
Enjoy Life.
